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Why It's Okay to Feel Mom Guilt while Chasing Your Dreams

  • Writer: Moms in Medicine
    Moms in Medicine
  • May 1
  • 4 min read

Being a mom is nothing short of a beautiful adventure, filled with both joys and challenges. For many moms, the desire to build a career while raising children creates a complex web of emotions—particularly a phenomenon often referred to as "mom guilt." As women balance the demands of school, the field of medicine and the responsibilities of parenthood, feelings of inadequacy and guilt can often surface. However, it’s essential to recognize that these feelings are perfectly valid and shared by many.


Let’s explore why it’s okay to feel mom guilt while pursuing your dreams and how you can manage these emotions in a healthy way.


Understanding Mom Guilt


Mom guilt is that nagging feeling that creeps in when you think you’re not doing enough for your kids. Whether it’s being away from home for classes or not spending enough quality time together, this guilt can be a heavy burden.


But it’s important to recognize what’s driving these feelings. Often, mom guilt stems from societal pressures and unrealistic expectations. We live in a world where mothers are expected to juggle careers, school, and family with perfect ease. The truth is, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and everyone struggles from time to time.



The Guilt of Pursuing a Career


When you're in school, the deadlines, assignments, and exams can weigh heavily on your mind. At the same time, your kids might be calling for your attention, sharing their achievements, or simply seeking your affection.


Feeling torn between academic responsibilities and family time is common. Society often promotes the ideal of the stay-at-home mom, which can further exacerbate feelings of guilt for those who've chosen to chase their professional dreams while raising children.



The Reality Check: You’re Setting an Example


Despite the guilt that may flood your mind, remember that pursuing your career and education sends a powerful message to your children. You are actively showing them the importance of following their dreams and working hard for their goals.


Kids are sponges—they absorb what they see. By balancing your school responsibilities and parenting, you're teaching them resilience, determination, and the value of education. These are invaluable lessons that will benefit them throughout their lives.



Finding Your Support System


No one can do it all alone, and seeking support from friends, family, or fellow students is vital. Building a network can help alleviate some of the pressures you face.


Consider forming study groups with other parents who understand your situation. They can offer encouragement and tips on managing time and responsibilities. Alternatively, lean on family and friends for child care or emotional support when you need it. You don’t have to suffer in silence—finding a community can make a world of difference.



Embracing Self-Care


When you’re constantly juggling school and motherhood, self-care often takes a backseat. However, taking the time to care for yourself is crucial. It isn’t a luxury; it's a necessity.


Start small: dedicate a few minutes each day to do something just for you, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing mindfulness. By caring for yourself, you’ll be in a better position to care for your children and succeed in your studies. Plus, it reinforces the idea that self-worth is just as important as being a good mom.



Reframing Your Mindset


The next time you find yourself drowning in guilt, take a step back and reframe your thoughts. Instead of focusing on what you think you’re missing, try to acknowledge what you’re already doing right.


Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small, and recognize that having goals is a healthy part of life. Positive self-talk can go a long way in lifting the weight of mom guilt and allowing you to appreciate your journey.



The Power of Understanding Emotions


It's essential to understand that feeling guilty is an emotion, not a definition of your abilities as a mother. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. By doing so, you can begin to separate guilt from the reality of being a dedicated mom pursuing a career.


Discussing these emotions with someone who understands—whether a therapist, a friend, or even in a mom's group—can offer relief and help you process your feelings in a safe environment.



Conclusion


Mom guilt is a common experience, particularly for those navigating the challenging path of education and career while raising children. However, it’s important to remind yourself that allowing guilt to take over doesn’t serve you or your family.


Instead, focus on the lessons you’re imparting, the support networks you can build, and the importance of self-care. Your dreams and aspirations are just as important as your role as a mom, and it’s perfectly okay to pursue both.


Being a mom in school is a journey filled with ups and downs, but remember that every step you take toward your dreams is a step toward a brighter future for both you and your children. So, nurture yourself and keep chasing those dreams!


Wide angle view of an open book and a cup of tea
A cozy reading space for busy moms to unwind and recharge.

Close-up view of a colorful children's drawing on a desk
Creative work by children represents the joy of motherhood amidst a busy schedule.

 
 
 

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